


Surprised?

by throwntotheair (eloquentelegance)



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Baby Damian AU, Damian is raised by Batfamily since infancy, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 15:29:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7579462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eloquentelegance/pseuds/throwntotheair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce lets Jason and Damian watch too many kung fu movies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Surprised?

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this vine: HTTPS://VINE.CO/V/EQH1KWXH0BI

At first, Bruce wasn’t too keen on letting his five year old son watch those violent, kung fu movies Jason was so fond of. But Jason argued Damian saw worse things on the news or hell - that is, he means, heck - Damian saw worse on the sparring mat. Bruce couldn’t really dispute that. Compared to Gotham, no movie could really match up, and not for Hollywood’s lack of effort. Bruce consoled himself that at least it wasn’t horror, which had fake but far more gruesome imagery than anything kung fu movies usually offer.

He honestly wasn’t expecting much to result from Jason and Damian marathoning Bruce Lee films. Then one afternoon, as Bruce went over the monthly expenses, Jason banged excitedly on his office door.

“Bruce! Bruce!” He yelled. “You’ve got to come see this!”

Almost reflexively, Bruce could feel a headache forming. Those words never bode well coming from his kids. With a long, suffering sigh, he stood and opened the door, allowing Jason to lead him to whatever mischief he had done today. They arrived at Damian’s room and immediately, Bruce felt his sense of doom amplifying.

He was expecting bedlam - the walls splattered with something, the carpet permanently strained, the furniture upturned and in disarray. But no, to his great relief and mild surprise, it was only Damian greeting them. The five year old was wearing a bright, yellow romper and wielding foam nun chucks. 

Bruce faintly remembered Jason excitedly asking him to buy it. Since Jason rarely asked for anything, he had been eager to spoil the boy. But he should’ve known Jason would never want fake weaponry when he could opt for real ones. Damian, on the other hand, was still forbidden from anything except his wooden short sword, and now, apparently, foam nun chucks.

“What’s all this - ?” He started to ask, only to be hushed by Jason.

“Just watch,” Jason told him, nodding his head at Damian.

“Surprised?” Damian said, echoed by the TV behind him.

There was a Bruce Lee film playing on the screen. It’s a scene from _Kill Bill_ , Bruce idly realizes, a particularly violent and bloody movie. But before he could get really concerned, Damian started to mirror - move for move - Bruce Lee’s nun chuck maneuvers. It was quite impressive considering Damian had his back to TV. It was a perfect mimicry done completely from memory. 

“Pretty cool, huh?” Jason piped up, once Damian was done with his little demonstration. “I didn’t teach him nothing. He just sat and watched the movie over and over again.”

“And how many times, exactly, did your brother watch _Kill Bill_?” Bruce inquired, the tone of his voice brooking no nonsense.

Jason stiffened up, realizing he may have committed a faux pas. He tugged at the collar of his shirt, swallowing loudly. “Well, uh, big guy...”

But before Jason could finish his half-baked excuse, Damian chimed in.

“What do you think?” He asked. “Can I go fight crime now?”

Bruce could see pure panic color Jason’s expression as he realized fully what Damian intended to accomplish.

“Woah there, baby bat. You said you wanted to show off!” He cried out.

“And I did. For the purpose of - of ex-hi-bi-ting,” Damian paused here, with a proud smile. He was also apparently exhibiting new vocabulary. “My skills!”

“Tell you what, sport,” Bruce said, kneeling to Damian’s level. “You can come crime fighting with me - !”

“Bruce, are you crazy?!” Jason yelled as Damian lit up.

Bruce held up a hand. “ - once Alfred lets you stay up past eight.”

Now it was Damian’s turn to look horrified. “But - But, he never lets me stay up past bedtime!”

“Then, I’m afraid, you’ll just have to wait till your older,” Bruce smiled gently.

Damian’s lower lip wobbled as tears welled up in his eyes. He violently threw down his nun chucks and ran to his bed, collapsing heavily on it. 

“It’s not fair! It’s not fair!” He cried, kicking and screaming into his pillow.

Bruce sighed, getting back to his feet.

“Ouch,” Jason grimaced beside him. “If I had known that’s what he wanted, I never woulda let him show off.”

“He’s not supposed to be watching rated R movies,” Bruce pointed out. “ _You’re_  not supposed to be watching movies.”

“Yeah, but I’m old enough to see that in real life?” Jason shot back, nonplussed.

Bruce frowned and looked away, unable to come up with a reply.

Jason snorted. “You gotta admit though, B. Your kid is pretty impressive. He learned all that just by watching.”

“It was impressive,” Bruce sighed. “I guess that means no more kung fu movie marathons for you.”

“Yeah...” Jason blinked. “Wait, what?”


End file.
